Books I Keep Recommending to Parents: How to Raise an Adult

I read a lot. For work, for pleasure, for curiosity’s sake, and simply because I love to learn.

I’ve read a surprising number of parenting books over the years. That label alone kind of makes me go ugh. Not because I don’t think they can be helpful, but because the traditional category often feels like someone telling you what to do without really knowing your child or your context, as if there’s a right formula to follow if you just get it exactly right. That’s never really felt true to me. I still read them, though, partly because they help me better understand the parents and kids I work with, and partly because every once in a while, there’s a real gem.

In my recommended list of "parenting" books below, you'll notice that only one, maybe two, present parent-y. The rest help you understand kids and the bigger ideas that shape their development. They’re the kinds of books that can shift how you think and what you value. These are the ones I’ve read and thought, I wish every parent would read this.

I think we can improve our practice as educators and as parents by building a strong understanding of development and an informed, clear set of values. From there, those values guide how you respond, how you show up, and the environment you create for a child. These books are less about giving answers and more about helping you see more clearly how kids grow, what drives their behavior, and what they need from the adults around them.

This image is interactive. Click the 3 dots in the bottom right corner of the interactive above to expand it to full screen or simply click here. Clicking the blinking circle on the book spine will lead you to my review and key takeaways.

Today I’m highlighting How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims, a book I most often recommend to parents in middle to upper class communities, where over-parenting tends to show up most often.

This is an outlier in the list that reads more like a traditional parenting book, but it’s one I still recommend because of how clearly it captures patterns I’ve seen play out over time. It does a really good job of helping parents recognize when support starts to shift into over-management, and how that impacts a child’s development over time.

It’s especially helpful for anyone who feels like they might be over-managing their child’s life, or who wants to take a step back and think more intentionally about how to support independence.

I’ll be highlighting each of these books over the next few weeks, one at a time here on the blog.